The King and the Queen
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body (NKJV).
Service and structure will save a marriage.
I am not sure why, but I remember the title of only one sermon from the many I heard as a child. “How to Get Your Wife to Treat You Like a King.” The theme of the message was no surprise, “Treat Her Like a Queen.” Honor begets honor. Respect breeds respect. It is a fail-proof system.
Paul writes about two types of submission in Ephesians chapter 5, servile submission and structural submission. Servile submission is detailed in verse 21, “submitting to one another.” This is where the husband and wife are in competition to put the best interest of the other first. Even non-followers of Christ would like to be married to a person who puts their interest at the front of the line.
Structural submission is dealt with in verses 22-23. Someone must be responsible and accountable for the authority in the home. That would be the husband. When everyone is in charge, no one is in charge, and the system unfolds. We easily understand how structure collapses when we have two supervisors at work directing us on what to do. It’s chaos.
This does not mean that the husband makes every decision in the home. It does mean the final burden is on him. Christ is our example in everything, and in 1 Corinthians 11:3 the full arrangement is seen, “that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” Christ is both servile “Savior of the body” and structural “head of the church” and “man” and under the “head of…God.”
Our problem with authority arises when we attempt to separate servile and structural submission. Its Divine pleasure is only experienced when we couple the two. Then it is like the beautiful royal relationship of a king and queen.